FART ON MY VOICEMAIL!

[maxxxlube]

nooooo... not my voicemail...lol... sorry, just came across this rather interesting post on craigslist (dont know about it, get thee to a search engine).

here it is, in all it's gassiness....

FART ON MY VOICEMAIL! - m4m - 24

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Date: 2007-07-01, 5:00AM PDT


I was wondering if any straight or masculine bi dude can call my voicemail and leave me a voicemail with you farting? Im serious, this is no joke. I get turned on hearing a str8/bi dude fart loud and long. And id would be really cool if you could just leave a voicemail of it. if your going to fart anyways why not let me hear it? you dont need to talk, and you can block your # to remain privat, just call and rip me some good ones. its not a cell phone, just a voicemail system so nobody will pick up. its completely anonymous. thanks guys! hope to hear what your made of!

CALL AND FART FOR ME :::Six One Nine:::Eight Six Six:::Three Four Four Seven:::

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just have to comment...how can he tell that a fart, ass belch, colon combustion...whatever... is from a str8 or bi ass? i'd be tempted, but i may poo on my phone (too much chili and beans make for the chili willies).

enjoy...or not

[Link]

What if a flaming gay guy or a girl leaves him a fart? Will he jack off to it, only to realize later that it was a highly undesirable fart? And then he'll need to run off to the bathroom to violently vomit in shame and humiliation of orgasming to a non-masculine fart?

I wish I could time a dog fart into it.

[BlueA86]

Okay so I've been making pie charts and diagrams and here's my theory based on my calculations.......

The gay ass farts would probably be more "airy" because it's been stretched out quite a bit, while the straight ass farts would be louder as it's probably tighter.

So there ya go. How's that for a theory?

[Link]

It makes logical sense. Now someone needs to convince Congress to give us $1.2 million dollars to fund a study. The fate of mankind hangs in the balance with such matters as greenhouse gassing and global warming. "Loose" cheek holes could very well be a major contributor to the destruction of the ozone layer.

It sure explains why I'm a deep bass baritoner. They vibrate with the warmth and kick of some 12 inch woofers.

[maxxxlube]

maybe his voicemail should be flooded with flaming gay & female fartistas?

to ruin his jerk-a-rama with "undesirable" farts?

i approve the Cogressional allocation for the flatuance gender model study, just slap on a rider to some essential bill, like the next "more money thrown in the money pit hell formerly known as iraq" act... then we'll get right down to some deep studies of the subject matter.... might need more $$$, would have to build a facility, hire PR and Legal firms, invest in some killer acoustic equipment, perhaps a sub-study of Christian vs. Jewish vs Muslim vs Atheist vs Buddist (do they smell like nirvana?) farts.. oh... we'd need at least ten times the orginal request... east coast vs. west coast farts, in-depth dietary studies, blind tests for str8 vs bi vs gay farts....

shit... put some polish on this pig and i'll propose it to my local stinky rep. - Duncan Hunter. maybe a means to determine a terrist from a freedom loving american by there's farts? it'd give the TSA at the airports a whole new way to waste your time....woo hoo!

[gumbie_goodhead]

$1.2 million? Come on guys! This is a government study! We need closer to $290 million to really produce some reliable data. It beats the hell out of the "gay bomb!"