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  #61  
Old 06-06-2006, 12:43 PM
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Default Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

Quote:
Originally Posted by blaat77
I don't agree (oh dear...first post and disagreeing with a mistress.... I am playing with fire here).

I noticed that my girlfriends at first dont seem to be dominant, however when you slowly "introduce" the concept, the start being it. It starts as a "favour" to the partner... for instance: Ok I'll spank you if thats what you like.. and it ends in them liking it a lot and willing to go further.
I might be that I am just really lucky with my girlfriends tho ;)
Welcome to the forum. You are so lucky. I keep hearing the opposit- girlfriends will try it then once they get the guy they will stop. :boring::boring::boring:
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  #62  
Old 06-07-2006, 01:07 PM
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Default Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

Thank you Mistress Taylor,

yeah I guess I am very lucky. Well I get luckier. Of my last three girlfriends, the first didnt want it at ALL, the second one did enjoy it to a certain degree, and my current one (now my fiancee) is willing to try more and actually suggesting new stuff herself.

I must say this is rather mild SM.. the hard stuff scares me anyway so thats ok :P
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  #63  
Old 06-07-2006, 01:37 PM
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Post Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyC
Yes, unfortunately true, but I understood the question if it is considered cheating and not what the social implications would be. So I think the partner would most likely suffer, especially if they have no leanings towards BDSM and would not understand that their guys do still love them, that BDSM is simply something completely else in which they unfortunately do not take part.

All too often women think they can change guys if they're good wives/girlfriends, it's an old mistake, the guy you meet is the guy you get, they are not going to change their ways.
I believe it is only cheating if you have had discussions about it with your spouse or partner who does not agree with this kind of lifestyle or scene and you agree that you won't and you do anyway, then yes it's cheating because you have lied. Which is what a lot of my clients do they sneak away to come and see me and I think that's horrible!! I think that lying about who you are is so wrong. Accept yourself and if the person you are with does'nt then it's time to move on from the person your with.
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  #64  
Old 06-07-2006, 09:32 PM
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Default Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

Quote:
Originally Posted by Goddess Genesis
...then yes it's cheating because you have lied. Which is what a lot of my clients do they sneak away to come and see me and I think that's horrible!!
You could always refuse to aid and abet the 'horrible' cheating, by refusing to accept lying clients you know are sneaking away to cheat with you, of course.


But, there we have it, y'see. Human nature. In the end, people will mostly do what they want to do, regardless of the labels. And, others will always find a reason to participate. So its always been.


If you don't want your partner to cheat, make sure they don't need, or want to cheat, by looking after them. If you don't - and they do - then I doubt its really 'cheating' on you. Its the predictable consequence of your own neglect of them.


If you want 'exclusivity' with your partner - then take responsibility. Really look after them. Nothing else works.

Last edited by Geronimo; 06-08-2006 at 02:11 AM.
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  #65  
Old 07-15-2006, 09:13 PM
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Default Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

Yes, I think it is cheating.

But, I can't help it. My fiance has NO interest in BDSM, so I go and see pro dommes to get my fix.

I still love her to bits and wouldn't want to jeoperdize our relationship, but I am weak willed.
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  #66  
Old 09-02-2006, 06:02 AM
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Default Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

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  #67  
Old 09-02-2006, 02:29 PM
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Default Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

Of course it is cheating. But that doesn't neccessarily mean it is wrong. There are sex acts I physically enjoy, that my partner does not always feel comfortable doing (depending on the mood). Any act done by a professional is always better than getting amateurs involved. Who knows what can happen then.

I think I prefer fantasizing better than reallife anyway, dom or no dom. I don't even know how to find one, and then, in my fantasies, my partner never says no, aways does what I want, for as long as I want, always in my favorite positions, and I can cum where ever I want, and she loves it! No one says no. No one get hurt.

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  #68  
Old 09-03-2006, 04:40 AM
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Default Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

when i first read the topic question "is visiting a domme cheating" i misunderstood it - i thought the question was asking whether paying for a domme's services is cheating... ie it is the easy way to find a domme.

It is so much harder to meet women who are that way inclined in everyday life (or at least willing to admit to it on the 1st date!!)

and it is so much harder to admit to a partner that you are that you dig stuff like that too - so I suppose paying a pro-domme in that respect can be considered cheating cos it takes the easy way out -

As to whether it is cheating on a spouse - of course it is... unless the spouse gets off on it too and is aware
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  #69  
Old 01-11-2007, 07:13 PM
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Default Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

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  #70  
Old 01-11-2007, 07:47 PM
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Default Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

I guess each person has to ask yourself...if the situation was reversed, how would you take it if you found out your partner was getting both physical and emotional satisfaction from someone he or she paid for services rendered...good luck with the question and answer...
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  #71  
Old 01-12-2007, 07:40 AM
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Default Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

sadly, yes, i think its cheating :(

If my partner did the same, i would consider it cheating.
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  #72  
Old 01-12-2007, 07:52 AM
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Default Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

Oh my goodness i read the whole topic. And it took a loooong while because of my not perfectly english

Is it cheating? Yes it is because you lie to your partner. If you say nothing it is also a lie. It is cheating because BDSM is like sex. No it's MORE intensive than vanillasex. It's sex in your mind excepting of guys who just want pain because they are true masochists. But the connection between mistress and slave in a normal session is more intensive than a connection between a whore and her customer.

I already said it. In my eyes both is prostitution, but where i live prostitution is a normal job. So i don't want to blame any prostitutes.

Also i can't understand why it should be impossible to don't live out the submissive side. It is possible and if a man do it although he has a wife he's just a bad, egoistic person. The life is not perfect and sometimes you don't get what you want. Accept it or die unhappy, you will never be satisfied if you want more and more.

I think all who say it is not cheating are just searching for an excuse to have an easier life. In fact on the cost of their wife...

Oh and i agree to slave ben's post. Same for me: To pay a women for dominance is cheating in my eyes, too. My moral just say to me that it's wrong. Also i would never visit a prostitute and pay for vanillasex.
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  #73  
Old 01-13-2007, 10:13 AM
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Default Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

if your partner thinks it is cheating its cheating
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  #74  
Old 01-14-2007, 07:32 AM
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Default Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

It is cheating. Even if it is not sexual in a common sense, there are sexual feelings involved.
And the most important point was stated before: If your partner thinks its cheating, it is.
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  #75  
Old 01-14-2007, 02:28 PM
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Default Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

I think going to see an attractive women who is not your wife is cheating.
But since 50% of marriages end in divorce, and some marriages are very long and some couples have, let's say, complicated relationships, then the topic deserves a bit more discussion. What if a man and women don't sleep in the same bed anymore? What If they never have sex?

What if they do have sex, but the man feels that he cannot, or shouldn't discuss these fantasies with his wife?
What if he has, discussed them, but she is very unwilling to indulge him? Even once in a while?
I mean even the Bree Daniels character tried to dominate her husband on "Desperate Housewives" when she found out he was seeing a dominatrix.

So, I think, on face value, the truest answer is sessioning with a dominatrix, paying her several hundred dollars an hour is cheating, and it is not like getting a purely deep tissue massage at a health spa.

But it may be an alternative for a man in a marriage where the lines of communication are blocked, or the other partner is not willing to entertain a little fetish play, etc.
Whether the partners tell each other about it, or have permission in the context of marriage to do it, well, that's another story.
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  #76  
Old 01-22-2007, 10:42 PM
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Default Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Taylor
Is a visit to a dominatrix considered cheating. What do you guys think? What do you think your girlfriend/wives would or do think??? If they don't know you have gone or go to a dom what do you think they would do if they found out???
Great question. Yes, it's cheating. In a true committed relationship, then visiting a mistress for any reason, with or without sex (oral, anal, whatever) is cheating. I would never do it given my committed status.

The problem is, people seem to wind up with someone who doesnt understand, appreciate, or even ACCEPT their fetishes and desires, and the cant enjoy it at home. so they go out and get it ..

now, some people disagree .. and that's cool :)
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  #77  
Old 01-24-2007, 02:59 PM
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Default Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

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  #78  
Old 01-25-2007, 02:07 PM
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Default Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

Quote:
Originally Posted by ahurtingunit
Great question. Yes, it's cheating. In a true committed relationship, then visiting a mistress for any reason, with or without sex (oral, anal, whatever) is cheating. I would never do it given my committed status.

The problem is, people seem to wind up with someone who doesnt understand, appreciate, or even ACCEPT their fetishes and desires, and the cant enjoy it at home. so they go out and get it ..

now, some people disagree .. and that's cool :)
Even to visit someone like Mistress Taylor
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  #79  
Old 01-25-2007, 04:09 PM
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Default Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

It is.... otherwise there was no good relationship, cause a good relationship will give you anyhing you need.
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  #80  
Old 01-25-2007, 07:40 PM
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Default Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

What if your wife or girlfriend sent you to a domme to get your ass kicked, whipped, or reamed with a 15" dildo, maybe for a b-day gift or just to be mean...is that cheating on his part???...is it justified on her part because all guys should get the crap beaten out of them????
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  #81  
Old 01-26-2007, 12:16 AM
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Default Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

If she felt that bad she'd probably do it herself

Maybe she would join the session so that she and the domme could both beat the crap out of him
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  #82  
Old 01-26-2007, 03:10 AM
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Default Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

It's not cheating because, emotionally, seeing a dominatrix has nothing to do with your relationship. It's simply a desire that 1) can't be fulfilled by your partner, 2) won't be fulfilled by your partner, 3) your partner would suck at it anyway and you would STILL go see a pro. Domme.

If you see a dominatrix, chances are you will still come home to your partner at the end of the day. If you truly have a good partner, he/she would want your every fantasy to be fulfilled and he/she would want you to see that dominatrix. But that may be too much wishful thinking...
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  #83  
Old 01-26-2007, 07:20 PM
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Default Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

Quote:
Originally Posted by rat1969
What if your wife or girlfriend sent you to a domme to get your ass kicked, whipped, or reamed with a 15" dildo, maybe for a b-day gift or just to be mean...is that cheating on his part???...is it justified on her part because all guys should get the crap beaten out of them????
In this case she wants you to go. Basically she tries to "satisfy you" in an unusual way so to speak.
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  #84  
Old 01-31-2007, 06:42 AM
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Default Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

yes of course it is cheating but at the same time the feeling a sub has to serve will eat at him so much he will never feel satisfied or complete until he is trained as he so badly yearns for ....
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  #85  
Old 01-31-2007, 01:24 PM
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Default Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

taylor, if you were my wife or at list my true girl friend i would have never gone with that dom stuff,it is only YOU for what i run aftr the dom,human beings are basically polygamous,god permitted.
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  #86  
Old 02-01-2007, 09:33 PM
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Thumbs up Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

Hi.

This is a really good question Mistress Taylor.

slaves at the Academy ask us this question all the time. It's important for a husband to be faithful to his Wife but a slave's training is important too so he can serve his Wife better.

So we assure our trainees that if he is unable to ask his Wife for consent because She's not "into BDSM", and unless She had specifically denied him permission for this, then it is okay for him to get training as long as it's not sexual domination and he's taking the training for his Wife's benefit so he can be a better slave for Her. She is his Owner.

A slave is not being unfaithful to his Wife if he seeks training for himself that is for Her benefit.
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  #87  
Old 02-08-2007, 09:38 PM
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Default Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

A very good question indeed. I feel that anything sexual behind the other's back is indicative of serious communication issues. If the wife/gf doesn't know, then it absolutely is cheating. Promises were most likely exchanged (one of which would be faithfulness and keeping sex just between you two for a number of practical and ethical reasons). Sexual activity can be such a powerful thing that to have somebody else enter the equation tends to be very disruptive. What if the guy falls in love with the dominatrix? What if when he's having sex with his wife, he's always focusing instead on the mistress and the woman is either unsuspecting or gets that iffy feeling that he's not entirely in the moment?

Now if you forged an open relationship with your wife/gf, that's very different. There's an open acknowledgement and agreement that you both may engage sexually with other people. Now the health/relationship issues including those mentioned earlier have to be considered carefully, but at least the ethics won't be breached.

Here's a good acid test for Taylor's question: how would YOU feel if your wife/gf went off and had sex with another guy(s)? If it wouldn't sit well with you, perhaps you should forget about visiting anybody for sexual favors. Yes I know someone on here will probably come up with lawyerly interpretations of Mistress services as applied to "sexual favors"... Consider that if your acid test fails as applied to ANY level of sexual activity between your wife/gf and another man(s) or woman(s), why should it be ok for you to run over to the local Mistress?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Taylor
Is a visit to a dominatrix considered cheating. What do you guys think? What do you think your girlfriend/wives would or do think??? If they don't know you have gone or go to a dom what do you think they would do if they found out???
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Old 02-18-2007, 12:19 PM
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Default Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

Couldn't resist the Temptation
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Old 02-24-2007, 01:09 PM
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Old 02-24-2007, 04:28 PM
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Default Re: Is a visit to a Dominatrix considered Cheating???

Quote:
Originally Posted by AcademyForSlaves.com
Hi.

This is a really good question Mistress Taylor.

slaves at the Academy ask us this question all the time. It's important for a husband to be faithful to his Wife but a slave's training is important too so he can serve his Wife better.

So we assure our trainees that if he is unable to ask his Wife for consent because She's not "into BDSM", and unless She had specifically denied him permission for this, then it is okay for him to get training as long as it's not sexual domination and he's taking the training for his Wife's benefit so he can be a better slave for Her. She is his Owner.

A slave is not being unfaithful to his Wife if he seeks training for himself that is for Her benefit.
What do you think the wife would feel if she find out that her man is doing this? You speak about training??? For the most men it's a sexual game and not a simple training. If you say your customers they don't cheat then you don't care about their wifes. These arguments are just wrong... sorry

Almost every wifes feelings would be hurt and she would be very disappointed. If my wife would visit a dom, a sub or whatever, although I asked her to don't do it I would kick her out immediatly.

She asks his men to not do it and you say he can do it??? This is evil and respectless. A relationship is more important than a small sexual adventure!

It's simple: love>sex
This is so egoistic and made me angry. Grrr... ok I am fine now
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