Favorite Quotes?

[salsashark]

"We're number 1 in the number 2 business."
- sign on septic tank truck

[Flatuface]

"What can BROWN Do for YOU?"

[hot4smoke]

"They shoot people like you where I come from..."

Steve Dallas - Bloom County

[salsashark]

Damn, I miss Bloom County...

[salsashark]

I finally got around to watching "The Sopranos" - some good lines in that one:

Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Have you ever had a prostate exam?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Are you kidding? I don't let anyone wag their finger in my FACE.

[salsashark]

"My God, it's full of stars."

- from the book 2001 A Space Odyssey and the film 2010

[Mistress Taylor]

[maxxxlube]

"To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead." - Thomas Paine

[salsashark]

Force is all-conquering, but its victories are short-lived.
– Abraham Lincoln

[tongueincheek]

a scene from a brilliant british horror/drama series called urban gothic:

school counsellor (to teenage student as part of a psychological profile test): your partner asks you to participate in her blood drinking fetish, although you are fully aware that she has AIDS - what do you do?

student (looking bored and staring at the counsellor blankly - deadpan): AIDS - thats that 80's thing right? like deely-boppers but less fun

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from the same series:

city storyteller (to evil leader of some illuminati type group - the institute - upon finding him trying to bring about the apocolypse in his lair): you know - im a little bit disappointed, i was expecting to see... a white cat or something

leader of the institute: i had one... i killed it

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kali cunninghm (to school counsellor mid the same test as the first quote): you know why so many people dress like they're going to war, Mr Tidyman? its because we have no war - we're all gameshow contestants... maybe that can change, maybe there can be a new war

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some from Simon Munnery:

there comes a time in life when one should learn to shut up - its called birth

he who disagrees with me in private, call him a fool - he who disagrees with me in public, call him an ambulance.
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and finally, a couple of great ones from Jerry springer the opera - the simgle greatest thing ive ever seen in my life.

the KKK singing (mid song and dance routine at the front of the jerry springer set - complete with canes and lifted robes so people can see their feet dancing): "this is our jerry springer moment, we dont want this moment to die so dip us in chocolate and throw us to the lesbians - we dont want this moment to die"

a transvestite (mid operatic arguement with the crowd) @when you're dead and buried in the grass, i'll dig you up and fuck you in the ass"

the angels singing on satan's appearance "what a c--t, what a c--t, what a c--ting c--ting c--ting c--ting c--ting c--ting c--t"

satan to jesus on the jerry springer show in hell: "so you turned some water into wine, so you walked across the fucking sea, so you're the son of god, here's a little biscuit from me"

the demonic hoards on mary's arrival launched into a chorus of "raped by an angel"

i swear,if anyone visits amazon.co.uk, find that DVD of jerry springer the opera, and you will laugh your arse off... i almost did... good thing my pants were tight at the time or i may have done!

anyway folks, im signing off for now to dig a few more up...

[salsashark]

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
Groucho Marx

[raptorsfan29]

"We shall strive for perfection. We shall not achieve it immediately—but we still shall strive. We may make mistakes—but they must never be mistakes which result from faintness of heart or abandonment of moral principle."

Franklin D. Roosevelt - during his fourth Inaugural Address