Favorite Quotes?

[jediofthefeet]

"You must do what you feel is right, of course."-Obi Wan Kenobi, SW

"You can't win, but there are alternatives to fighting."-Obi Wan Kenobi, SW

"Denial is the most predictable of all human responses."-The Architect, The Matrix

"I am the author, editor, and publisher of my own happiness".-Jediofthefeet

[salsashark]

No people can be both ignorant and free.
- Thomas Jefferson

[maxxxlube]

The Wit, Poetry, and Senility of Donald H. Rumsfeld [pinched it from the Slate article about our outgoing Sec. of Defense]

The Unknown
As we know,
There are known knowns.
There are things we know we know.
We also know
There are known unknowns.
That is to say
We know there are some things
We do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns,
The ones we don't know
We don't know.
—Feb. 12, 2002, Department of Defense news briefing

Glass Box
You know, it's the old glass box at the—
At the gas station,
Where you're using those little things
Trying to pick up the prize,
And you can't find it.
It's—

And it's all these arms are going down in there,
And so you keep dropping it
And picking it up again and moving it,
But—
Some of you are probably too young to remember those—
Those glass boxes,
But—
But they used to have them
At all the gas stations
When I was a kid.
—Dec. 6, 2001, Department of Defense news briefing





A Confession
Once in a while,
I'm standing here, doing something.
And I think,
"What in the world am I doing here?"
It's a big surprise.
—May 16, 2001, interview with the New York Times




Happenings
You're going to be told lots of things.
You get told things every day that don't happen.
It doesn't seem to bother people, they don't—
It's printed in the press.
The world thinks all these things happen.
They never happened.
Everyone's so eager to get the story
Before in fact the story's there
That the world is constantly being fed
Things that haven't happened.
All I can tell you is,
It hasn't happened.
It's going to happen.
—Feb. 28, 2003, Department of Defense briefing




The Digital Revolution
Oh my goodness gracious,
What you can buy off the Internet
In terms of overhead photography!
A trained ape can know an awful lot
Of what is going on in this world,
Just by punching on his mouse
For a relatively modest cost!
—June 9, 2001, following European trip




The Situation
Things will not be necessarily continuous.
The fact that they are something other than perfectly continuous
Ought not to be characterized as a pause.
There will be some things that people will see.
There will be some things that people won't see.
And life goes on.
—Oct. 12, 2001, Department of Defense news briefing



Clarity
I think what you'll find,
I think what you'll find is,
Whatever it is we do substantively,
There will be near-perfect clarity
As to what it is.
And it will be known,
And it will be known to the Congress,
And it will be known to you,
Probably before we decide it,
But it will be known.
—Feb. 28, 2003, Department of Defense briefing



bye bye you senile old fool.... be seeing you at the Hague



:march mellow:yayya y

[salsashark]

Heh, I was watching that "known unknowns" briefing.

Actually, I think I prefer Bushisms though.

"You're working hard to put food on your family." —Presidential candidate George W. Bush, Nashua, N.H., Jan. 27, 2000

and there's plenty more where that came from:

The 50 Dumbest Things President Bush Said in His First Term

[bitch_p0p]

Help! I'm "Stuck in Iraq!" I KNEW I Should Have Studied Harder.

[salsashark]

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
- Yogi Berra

[salsashark]

There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes.
- Dr Who in The Robot

[The Hot Rod]

"The hour before dawn is the darkest"

Kind of not true, but symbolic all the same I feel

[milkme]

"Tommorow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learnt something from yesterday." --that's on John Wayne's headstone

"In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is." --Yogi Berra

"This is like deja vu all over again." --Yogi Berra

"Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of congress. But I repeat myself." --Mark Twain

"The path of least resistance leads to crooked rivers and crooked men."--unknown (at least to me)

[bucktooth]

This is a gross quote I found on a forum somewhere

"Once my chinchilla crawled under the office after pooping hamsters out itseffinbryans mouth ..Then, Coheed blasted papayas out through itseffinbryans urethra Gross! Says My pet monkey who ate itseffinbrians ....urethra... and discovered a wand in Jeesus’ nipple butireallymentpussy so he went downtown for skittles. Then my chichwawa humped 3 parrots on tates chest. Jason didn’t know that he over-hypes TSC a lot and everyone hates TSC because they lick hippo testicles for million dollars and one sexuall transvestite hooker named “FOX” who smelled of cabbage patch-kids-dolls sucking eggs and ballsack with intensity. Next, the orange banana was jogging and suddenly tripped on bob saggets urertha then bob went grabbing his penis like he was about-to ejaculate all over jon-bannet-ramsey eyeball. However, he changed his shirt and left AP to philosophize on anchient terrority of Vin Disels worst enemy. Afterwards Jesse lacy decided that he needed pubes so he cut the hair of his grandmother and his pubic-area with them and had various orgasms causing severe bleeding to his vag because it spews discharge out-of-his pus abyss . While excreting massive chunks of dirreha into my mouth then I fucked chickens and pissed superpowerfully into the chickens vagina it was squishy combusting into weird holes filled with green siscores cutting my wrists and black my eyes suffocating suffocating her cock monkeys until jeesus yelled Im blackmotherfuckers kiss gods cunt like no other said alaphabet soup cunt in milk tasted sweet cunt purple didn’t drip half as much as some hooker with Aids and ibs."

[tongueincheek]

one of my favorite ever quotes came from a british comedian regarding the german language (which i personally love being what should have been my native tongue, but i couldn't stop laung at this one)

"i hate the german language - its like a typewriter chewing tinfoil"

another classic was the director to the one legged tarzan auditionist - "your right leg's fine, we've got nothing against your rightleg at all... trouble is, neither have you"

and from simon munnery: "welcome to the future - its broken" and "a million monkeys were given a million typewriters... its called the internet" :P


its good to be back online

[milkme]

Oh Yeah, I once saw a sign in front of a volunteer fire dep. that said come to our meetings and we'll come to your fire.