The Anecdote Thread

[Sockratease]

Since Anecdotes are True Stories (albiet short) I thought it might be fun to have a thread here for them.

If it is out of place, feel free to move it to the General Shit forum.

Here is one from This Weekend that could start things off nicely:


I was in my favorite Bakery while I was out.

They make a wide variety of herb breads.

When I arrived it was crowded and the owner was preparing some Bread Dough for baking, and fresh bread was coming out of the oven.

The place smelled of Dill.

Dill is a favorite herb of mine, and so I asked him if the Dough he was making was for more Dill Bread.

He said Yes.

And so, being a sarcastic sort, I pointed to his work and said, in a loud voice:

"That's The Biggest Dill Dough I Have Ever Seen!"

I got a wide variety of reactions.

The looks I got were wonderful! People were amused, embarrassed, outraged, confused, and oblivious all at once!!

I just got a scolding look from the owner. Probably just for appearances sake.

The Dill Bread was Excellent, by the way. And it is as close as I ever hope to get to putting a Dill Dough in my mouth!

Princess Lissa got a great laugh out of it and I could not help but think that people here would approve.

[salsashark]

Heh heh, I got a good chuckle out of that. Thanks.

[Princess Lissa]

I'm still laung My hippiefied little goa...

Kisses, Princess Lissa
http://lissawhipped.com

[Mistress Perverta]

Originally Posted by Princess Lissa

I'm still laung My hippiefied little goa...

Kisses, Princess Lissa
http://lissawhipped.com

Me too!

[humiliation boy]

funny stuff.

[Sockratease]

Here's a short anecdote from my Youth.

I won't go into how it got to this point, because that would be writing a full story, but I was tied to a Girl Friend's bed. I was leaning on a stack of pillows against a headboard with my arms tied to the posts and my feet tied to the footboard.

I was being alternately tickled, teased, and tortured.

She had found a candle and was enjoying herself a lot more than I was enjoying myself (this was spontaneous and "social" with no structure or prearranged anything like in Pro Sessions).

Without Warning, she left the room silently.

I called after her, but there was no respponse.

10 minutes (or so?) later she returns with a sauce pan, stirring something.

She told me she melted some candles and we were going to make a mold.

This sounded a little too scary for me and I said that I did not think that would be a good idea.

She poured a ladle full of wax over my Boy Thing anyhow.

I know I Screamed. Loudly.

Drops of wax dripped from a good height so they cool in the air somewhat before hitting is one thing.

Nobody should Ever ladle Melted Wax on to Anyone! (without Explicit Consent?)

Especially to such a sensitive area!

I had not yet caught my breath and I saw her stirring again.

I started imploring her to stop.

She was just giggling and drew another ladle full of wax.

As she reached to pour it I grabbed her hand and yelled "NO!"

"You Broke myBed!!!" She blurted, indignantly.

I did not notice the chunk of wood tied to my wrist until she said that.

I think I was pretty mad and told her She was lucky that was all I broke.

"What am I going to tell my Father?" was her main concern.

I offered to explain everything to him for her, but she did not seem willing to tell him the truth.

So I freed myself and told her to say whatever she wanted, got dressed and left.

She would not talk to me after that.

Am I the only one here with Fun Anecdotes for this thread?

[suspekt27]

Very cool. Thanks for posting

[Sockratease]

I wanted a lame excuse to bump this thread... it made it to the Last Page of the forum!

I decided it would be fun to Blatantly Steal a few Anecdotes from another forum...

Enjoy:


Hair Salon
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word...he knew better.
Melinda , 39, Seguin, TX



The Pad
An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage insurance. He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, and I wanted to follow as best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run and get me a pad. He came back and handed me a Kotex right in front of our guest.
Kathy , 46, Winston-Salem, NC



Toilet Paper
I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror - wearing nothing but a camera.



Golf Balls
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
Colleen , 31, Ferndale, MI



Nuts about You
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts.." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget..
Faye , 34, Ellerslie, MD



Behave
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.

I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" the silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.
Amy , Stafford, VA



Thumbtacks
A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax"for "THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"
Diane E.



No Accident
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo! I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!



The Promised Eight Inches
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any... a true story ... We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"

Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

[Sockratease]

Here is a Hilarious Cuckold Scene!

OK... I actually dreamed this happened!

In this dream, Princess Lissa tied me spread eagled to a 4 poster bed. Stretched out tightly too. Of course.

But...

I was tied UNDER the bed!

I only saw Her Face while She was tying things. The rest of the time I was seeing only Her (Magnificent) Feet.

After She was done, She stood up and told me that She was bringing a Real Man in for Sex. I was NOT to make my presence known - if I did ... I would be in The Worst Trouble of my life.

She made her points by waving her Foot at me, or stomping it.

She then told me that I was to hump the bottom of the bed while they were having sex, and I was to cum at the same time as him. If She checked afterward, and I had not managed to cum, She would give me a 13 minute Footjob (13 is Her Favorite Number) and if I came during that time, I would have to lick everything clean.

She lowered the dust ruffle and left. I recall trying to reach the bottom of the bed from the position I was in, but it wasn't easy.

Woke up too soon...

That was just such a FUNNY dream I thought I'd post it and revive this thread! It might make a Funny Clip too!

It was also interesting because neither cuckolding nor cum eating are among my fetishes.

But I was in chastity at the time, and I always said that chastity Fucks with my mind!